Have you ever filled in a personality questionnaire? Many people fill in these questionnaires as they want to be viewed, not as they are perceived by others realistically.
I had a boss who was very aggressive, very judgmental and very dominating. She had no idea how she came across. She was mortified when we ended up having a 360 appraisal and other people were honest about her. She didn’t realise how she came across.
We have 4 very distinct behaviours. I’m going to highlight some very interesting facts of perceptions for each behaviour.
A Go-Getter/Director may view themselves as being confident, determined, decisive, ambitious and goal-oriented. Others on the other hand may view them as being arrogant, selfish, impatient, demanding and domineering. This was very much like the boss I mentioned earlier.
Socialisers/Promoters may view themselves as being positive, enthusiastic, fun-loving, optimistic and spontaneous. Whereas others in the workplace may perceive them as being distracted, loud, superficial, irresponsible and lacking focus.
Relaters/Nurturers may view themselves as being caring, helpful, sincere, kind and great listeners. Others who work with them may view them as being worrisome, slow to make decisions, timid, easy to control and easily lead.
A Thinker/Examiner may view themselves as being detailed, efficient, a perfectionist, effective or observant. Others on the other hand may view them as being strict, picky, emotionless, fussy and too critical.
Some of these perceptions are quite harsh and we obviously don’t mean to come across like this. We are who we are, and it is really powerful to be aware of how we come across, especially when we are leading others. This can help resolve conflict or frustrations you may have with your team when leading them.
Simon Sinek is an amazing speaker who has done a lot of Ted Talks. Watch the following You Tube on being a better leader to find out more https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPYeCltXpxw